The Philippines – get ready for surprises

It's not an overstatement to say that the Philippines is a country like no other. The peculiarity of the land is due to its geographical location – it's insular, volcanic and isolated from the rest of the Asian mainland at the edge of the greatest emptiness on Earth – the Pacific Ocean. The exceptionality of its culture lies in its diversity and also in it's partial isolation.

The Filipino culture is an unusual mix of old animist beliefs, Spanish Catholic religion and American modernity. Anyway, it is even a mistake to talk about a single Filipino culture as the country is a colourful blend of hundreds of tribes. 

Filipino gardening

These tribes have different roots - in the North – they are related to the Chinese, whereas in the South to the Polynesian people; speak different languages (more than 160 is still in use!), have different ways of life – from ingenious farmers, who managed to build stunning rice terraces, to gruesome head-hunters, who were walking around with their macabre trophies, still in the first half of the twentieth century. Some of them, up to this day, bury their dead in 'hanging coffins' set at the edge of the cliffs or inside caves (such a location ensures a surprisingly long-lasting, bio/organic preservation of the corpse); at the burial ceremony tens of hens and cocks need to be sacrificed to persuade the local gods to look after the soul of the deceased one. 

 

There are many other revolting social and eating habits going on here. The national 'sport' are cock fights. Indeed, the Filipinos must have kind of special relationship with their domestic fowl, as we've never seen so many hens at so many stages of their miserable life - running around while chickens, slowly dying in cages while mature, hanging head down when slaughtered. We've never heard so many cocks crowing in the early morning (don't forget ear-plugs). 

In the Philippines, presents go far. If you really want to be popular bring a hen, or better the whole bunch of them :)  

The pinnacle of our disgust was reached, however, while we were offered the local delicacy – balut – a boiled egg, with a duck embryo, developed up to a point that the feathers were clearly visible (if you really wanna see this thing use google).

Most of the tribes, until now, speak their own language and are keen to cherish their distinct traditions. The Spaniards attempted to colonise the archipelago since the 16^th century. The country has been named after the Spanish king – Philip II – Las Islas Filipinas. The Spanish colonisers did not get very far, however, and left the mission of civilising the land to Dominican monks. At the end of 19^th century, the Americans took over, until the state finally got independent in 1946. The Filipinos jokingly say that they had 300 years of convent and 50 years of Hollywood. 

Please do not get anything inside. Do not open the coffins!

Some other coffins are totally inaccessible, perched high in the cliffs

The Filipino language reflects well this tumultuous history – it has borrowed a lot of Spanish words and actually sounds like Spanish, has tendency to throw in some English words, but is firmly based on the indigenous Tagalog tongue. Don't get scared though, fortunately, the most practical legacy of an American imperialism, is that you can easily communicate in English. Anyway, Filipinos are one of the nicest nations we have visited so far (and definitely the sweetest), so you'll always get through. The more distasteful legacy of the American presence is wide-spread prostitution; they say that in the city of Angeles, next to which a huge American military base was located, there were up to 100 thousand GROs (as they are euphemistically dubbed 'Guest Relations Officers') at its peak. Sex workers are clearly visible everywhere, and we have never seen so many 'couples' – old Western big 'gentleman' and very young, tiny Filipino lady. Some 'specialised' travel agencies most probably advertise: 'Come to the Philippines, your second youth is here'!

Visiting this country is for sure an unforgettable experience, though it may also be very tiring. First of all, the Philippines is a poor country. In the streets of Manila we have been constantly annoyed by extremely harassing beggars. While you are in the car they bang on the windows, try to open the car door; while you walk along the streets the groups of youngsters buzz around you and if you are unwilling to give them something, they are eager to serve themselves. It is not uncommon that a small hand goes deep into your pocket, grabbing your wallet or phone. Outside of the capital city the beggars bother you much less, but a poor infrastructure highly contributes to your discomfort. If you want to see the remarkable rice terraces and the hanging coffins in the North, you have little choice than to embark on a long and painful bus journey, as the plane connections in that area are rudimentary. 

'Jeepney' is the most common means of transport - aesthetically interesting, in terms of comfort disastrous. Next to it is a tricycle - filipino taxi

The night bus will deliver you in less than ten hours – though it may be one of the toughest nights you've ever experienced. The legroom is smaller than in the RyanAir aircraft, the seat is always in an upright position, forget stretching your legs in the aisle as next to you there will always be a fifth person in a row sitting on a folding seat; forget the toilet on board (anyway it would be inaccessible anyway), but do not forget a warm duvet, an adhesive tape and ear-plugs. As the air-con is set to a fridge temperature, without the right equipment you'll get very cold. Apart from having all your warmest clothes on, we also recommend plastering the cold air outlet with an adhesive tape as the draft coming from these small holes is strong. If you are really unlucky a karaoke contest may be taking place on board for most of the night. As expressing any negative opinions about the quality or the volume of singing often ends in fist fights, reliable ear-plugs will save you from the danger of losing your front teeth and will spare you a headache. 

We were wondering if this 'passenger' cable car is EU security standards complainent

If you opt for a day ride, instead, it'll take you at least a full long day and will give lots of hair-rising moments as the road weaves along several hundred meters deep precipices reaching the pass at 2255 meters above sea-level. It's one of the most scenic routes we've ever taken, comparable only to the ones I've seen in Bolivian altiplano.

Filipino Northern highlands is a land of vistas - you've got sinks with a view ...

... toilets with a view :)

If you decide, however, to go to the islands in the South, famous for their coral reefs and marine bio-diversity, the plane connections are excellent. Unfortunately, the ease of travel is a double-edged sword, as the once beautiful and pristine beaches, such as Boracay or Alona are now crammed with tourists up to the point of suffocation. Boracay is so crowded that it is just tiring – it is the epitome of Asian mass tourism. 

Boracay - Filipino most famous beach is love and heat - if you mange to escape the crowds, it's phenomenal, unfortunately the crowds are unescapable.  

Kitesurfing in Boracay feels good - thanks God it was already a low season, so we had some decent space on the water

The saddest thing is that the phenomenal and endemic bio-diversity of the archipelago is being destroyed at a frightening pace to accommodate ever-rising number of Korean, Chinese and Western holiday-makers. Large areas of the Philippines are still beautiful and their fauna and flora is truly exceptional. The archipelago is as extraordinary as other famous wildlife sanctuaries such as Galapagos Islands and Madagascar.

Tarsier - one of the smallest primates on Earth being the most advertised example of Filipino endemic species. How long will all this natural beauty last?

Here we touch on the trait of the Filipinos that is great and disastrous at the same time – they are super relaxed people. They have a great sense of humour and fiesta is as important as religion. All in all, the Philippines is so unbelievably reminiscent of Latin America. The people here are super kind and welcoming. The epitome of the Filipino hospitality was Michaele, the owner of the 'Cove House'. We had two days of paradise-like treatment, being pampered in his (unexpectedly) calm and secluded guesthouse, only 10 kilometers away from the congested Alona beach. On the other hand, you shall expect all usual symptoms of too much laid-backness - rubbish on the beach; traffic chaos; messages coming in the middle of the night informing you that your flight has been cancelled (only to find out later that only the flight number was changed); buses that refuse to go until full, even if they are full, and you are running late for your flight. If you are scared by the lack of cleanliness or the sight of big (by big we mean really big) spiders and cockroaches in your hotel room you should also think twice if you are really going to enjoy it here.

In the Philippines even the fish on the market looks more exotic than anywhere else

In short, while in the Philippines, get your senses ready for a roller-coaster ride as you will be continually amazed and disgusted. It's like admiring the vistas of your lifetime in Batad or Banaue and snacking balut, all at the same time.